I'm not ready.

For her to be five.

For her to leave me.

For her to go to. . . Kindergarten :)

I feel pressure in my chest. Slow it down, here. . . I can't only see my daughter in the evenings and weekends! She is with *me*. I'm her mom! Five years of pretty much every day, and all the sudden it is visitation?? I can't wrap my head around it.

I feel like nothing will ever be the same, well, because it won't. I feel a little lost at the thought that our time to be home together is coming to an end. A whole way of life for my daughter and I is just about over. My baby is going to "her work" soon . . .

A friend and I were talking the other day, and she told me that she went thru the same thing when she put her son in daycare. I know life as a mom has had periodic times of "passings", but this one feels HUGE.

Now it is time to remind myself *again* for the bazillionth time. . .five years at home with my little girl! How wonderful?! How fortunate am I?!

I am thankful :) Just a little sad.

She is eager to go. Ready to learn. We are sending her to the best school we know of. She is going to love it, and have a wonderful experience.

I am going to miss her so much.

So. . .I am loading up on hugs. Getting extra kisses. I am sure I have told her I love her at least three times in the last hour and a half. (While making a list of things I can volunteer for at her school. . .) Being as grateful as I know how to be. And trying not to think about it every minute.

Sorry for lamenting all over you :) Go kiss your babies, you will feel better. It is what I am going to do.